WHY YOU FEEL EMPTY
The void inside you is not a defect. It is the design.
The Infinite (Ein Sof) is completely whole. Wholeness means it has no lack and no need. To create a reality that is not Itself, a Contraction (Tzimtzum) occurred, and a Will to Receive was created.
The very essence of the Creature is the Will to Receive. By nature, the Will to Receive is “lacking.” Because “Will” implies a deficiency for something you do not have. Therefore, the very fact that the Soul is a created being means it experiences a Lack. This lack is an existential condition.
The Gap
The Soul is a “Part of God from Above” (Chelek Eloka Mima’al). From the perspective of its Root, it belongs to Divine Unity. But from the perspective of its state as a creation, it is a Receiving Vessel. The gap between the Unified Root and the Limited Reality creates a constant movement of Yearning.
When a person lives as a disconnected individual, their consciousness is focused on a Private Vessel. A Private Vessel is always limited. Therefore, it is always felt as lacking.
This is not psychological. It is structural. Privacy = Boundary. Boundary = Lack.
The Mechanics of Relationship
The Zohar teaches that Male and Female are two halves of one soul in their root. Before the descent into the world, there is root unity. In this world, there is separation to allow for Choice and Correction (Tikkun).
When a true connection occurs between masculine and feminine, a Coupling (Zivug) is created. This mimics the Supernal Coupling between the Creator and the Divine Presence (Shechinah). That is why it is said: “The Divine Presence rests in a place of connection.”
What happens structurally to a person who feels “more whole” in a relationship? Their Private Vessel expands into a Shared Vessel. The Will no longer operates as an isolated unit but as a relative reality that includes another. In the terms of Baal HaSulam (the 20th-century master who decoded the Zohar): There is a movement here from a form of “Contracted Reception” to a form that already has a dimension of Bestowal (Hashpa’ah) and inclusion.
The Trap of Dependency
According to Ramchal (the 18th-century architect of Kabbalistic logic), Wholeness is defined as “Resemblance to the Creator.” The Creator is defined as the Influencer (The Giver). When a person is in a relationship, they are required to exit themselves. To see the other. To give. This movement brings them closer to the Form of Influence, and therefore it feels like greater wholeness.
But here is the critical distinction: If the feeling of wholeness depends on the mere presence of the other... Then the Vessel is still dependent on an external factor to feel full. It is still a Will to Receive searching for filling. This is a natural level, but it is not complete.
True Wholeness
True wholeness is when a person is connected to their Source even when they are alone. They discover that the Divine Presence is not a product of the partner, but of the Correction of the Vessel. Then, the relationship is not the Source of the wholeness. It is the place of its Revelation. The connection does not fill an existential lack; it expresses an existing internal wholeness.
The Definition of Emotion
Emotion is not a side effect. It is an expression of spiritual forces. What we experience as “Emotion” is the movement of Will and Light within the Psyche. Emotion divides the Soul into ten forces, corresponding to the Ten Sefirot. Emotion is not just an experience; it is the result of spiritual attainment, even if it is unconscious.
The Torah does not deal with emotion in order to analyze it. It does not ask: “What do you feel?” It asks: “Where is the emotion directed?” Is it in Reception for oneself? Or in Bestowal? The Torah is not interested in emotion as the center. It is interested in the Will and its Form.
Emotion is the appearance of the Will in the psyche. We do not analyze feelings to “understand” the person. We learn how to refine and direct the forces from which the feelings are born.
Translated from the Hebrew Transmissions of Ruth Kedem
ORIYA’S NOTE
We spend years in therapy trying to “fix” the emptiness inside us. We think the void is a defect. We think: “If I were healthy, I would feel full.”
But in architectural terms, a house without empty space is just a brick. You cannot live in a solid block of concrete. You need the void. The void is the Room.
“The essence of the Creature is the Will to Receive.” You are designed to be empty so you can hold the Light. The problem isn’t the emptiness. The problem is what you try to fill it with.
Most of us try to fill the hole with another person. “I am empty. You are full. Come stand in my hole so I don’t have to feel the draft.” That isn’t love. That is Human Caulk. And eventually, the other person cracks under the pressure of having to be your structural integrity.
The shift happens when you realize: The emptiness isn’t a hunger for a person. It is a hunger for Function. A cup doesn’t feel “fulfilled” when you store it in the cupboard. It feels fulfilled when liquid flows through it. Don’t try to plug the hole. become a pipe.