THE LONELINESS OF WAKING UP
Why spiritual growth makes you feel like the only sober person at the party.
Most of humanity lives in a state of Disturbance and human disorder. The Divine is not a “phenomenon.” It is the Nature of the Infinite. But when a person refines themselves (Mizdachech), they suddenly see the gap. They see the difference between the place they belong (The Infinite) and the place they live (The Disorder). This gap is experienced as Darkness.
The Sleep
Much of human behavior looks like sleepwalking. In Kabbalah, we speak of Concealment (Hester). Because consciousness is contracted. The fact that you feel a gap means a process is happening. The Infinite is not an event. It is a constant Being.
The Trap of Judgment
To illuminate does not mean standing on a podium and announcing that everything is dark. To illuminate means remaining within reality without drifting into its sleep. The Light is already here. It is just hidden.
Compassion vs. Contempt When a person starts to see a very sharp gap between Internal Reality and External Reality, there is a danger. Real Light does not produce contempt for the world. It produces Compassion.
If you see that people are sleeping, you are not angry at them. You understand that they are in a process. But you do not “lower yourself” to match anyone’s level just to fit in. The Infinite is the nature of reality. But its revelation happens through very imperfect human beings.
Translated from the Hebrew Transmissions of Ruth Kedem
ORIYA’S NOTE
Waking up is lonely. It feels like being the only sober person at a drunk party.
Everyone around you is stumbling, slurring their words, breaking things, and thinking they are having the time of their lives. You are standing there, clear-headed, watching the chaos.
You have two options:
Arrogance: You stand in the corner and judge them. “Look at these idiots. I am so much more evolved than they are.” (This is just Spiritual Ego).
Regression: You feel so lonely that you grab a drink just to numb yourself back down to their level so you can belong again.
The third option: Compassion. You don’t judge the drunk people. You don’t hate the sleepers. You realize they are just unconscious. Your job isn’t to wake them up by shaking them (that just makes them angry). Your job is to stay awake. Be the Designated Driver for the human race. Keep the car on the road until they wake up on their own.