GOD IS NOT MARRIED
Why spiritual attainment has nothing to do with your relationship status
The Independence of Wisdom
Wisdom does not depend on marriage. Divine Consciousness is not a result of your family status. It is a result of Matching Frequencies (Hishtavut Tzura) with the Light.
The main thing is the Correction of the Will, not the external casing. Wholeness is defined as Adhesion (Devekut) to the Creator, not the maintenance of a specific social form.
The Historical Proof
There were great Kabbalists who married. And there were those who did not. Their attainment did not stem from their marital structure. It stemmed from the size of their internal Vessel (Kli) and its refinement.
If a person refines their Will and directs it toward Bestowal (Giving), they can reach Adhesion even alone. Because the true Coupling (Zivug) is between the Vessel and the Light, not between two physical bodies.
The Theology
According to the Zohar , the Supernal Coupling is the connection between the Creator and the Divine Presence. This happens when there is an internal alignment of the Will with the frequency of Bestowal. This can be reflected in a marital framework. But it is not essentially dependent on it.
Otherwise, we would have to say that Divinity is conditional on marriage. And that is impossible. Because Divinity is not dependent on anything.
The Framework vs. The Content
Marriage is a commandment (Mitzvah) from the Torah. It is a central framework for correction within the structure of Jewish Law. But the framework is not the Essence. The Essence is what the person does inside the structure.
If the structure becomes an arena for Ego, Dependency, Control, and Fear, it is not a vessel for Light. It is just another Field of Shattering. The ring is not the main thing. Because a ring does not create Matching Frequencies.
The Paradox of “Married but Alone”
Most of humanity lives in separation. Even within marriage. Because the separation is internal. A person can be married to a spouse and still be Divorced from Themselves. Meaning: disconnected from the root of their own soul. In that case, the external connection does not solve the internal rift; sometimes it amplifies it.
The Conclusion
There is no contradiction between internal wholeness and the ability to live alone. A person connected to their Root is not “lacking” even without a partner. And if they choose a relationship, it will be as an Expansion of Wholeness, not as a Rescue from Loneliness.
The Torah commands marriage, but it does not state that Attainment depends on it. Attainment depends on the Will to Know and the correction of the private Soul Root.
Some souls correct primarily through home and family.
Some souls correct primarily through study and leadership.
If a relationship becomes a place of destruction, it is because the structure is operated without awareness. The Vessel shatters under the load of Ego and Expectations. Not because the spiritual principle is wrong. But because the operator is asleep.
Wholeness that does not depend on a thing does not contradict relationship. It precedes it. And if it does not exist inside you, no framework will create it for you.
Translated from the Hebrew Transmissions of Ruth Kedem
ORIYA’S NOTE
We treat marriage like a Spiritual Degree. We look at single people in the spiritual community like they are “Undergraduates,” and married people like they have their PhDs. “Oh, you’re single? You must still have work to do.”
This is nonsense. I know married people who are spiritually dead. They use their marriage as a shield to hide from their own ego work. I know single people who are holding amounts of Light that would shatter a normal vessel.
God is not a Matchmaker. God is a Frequency. The text says: “If God depended on marriage, God would be limited.”
There is a concept in engineering called Load Bearing. Marriage is a structure that allows you to bear more weight. But if the foundation (The Self) is cracked, adding the weight of another person doesn’t build a tower. It causes a collapse.
Don’t confuse the Container (The Marriage) with the Content (The Light). You can have a very expensive, kosher, halachic container that is filled with sewage (Ego, Control, Hate). And you can have a single person standing in a field who is a holy vessel.
Build the vessel first. If you can’t hold Light alone, you definitely can’t hold it while someone else is screaming at you about the dishwasher.